what bafflEd mE in the US or an idiots guidE to US of A

I should have written about it much earlier, but going by my instincts of procrastination I thought this is the right time to do this.
Well US of A is an amalgam of cultures, which unlike India, means you have one pulp of all the culture of the world. And that also means finding Americans wherever you go in America. This comes as quite a surprise for Indians when they find Bengalis, Tamilians, Mallus, Gujarati, Punjabis etc when travelling in India.

Rather than banging on the wall with my irrelevant visions into the minds of a diabolic, let me come back to the point.

These are the things I found intriguing, amazing, mind boggling, baffling or in short quite different from India.

1. They drive on the right side of the road.
I thought this is a piece of cake to adapt to but the harsh reality is after more than a quarter of a century of living in India I got used to the idea of driving on the left and walking on the right so much so that I was almost hit by a speeding car when I forgot to remember this fact. This was a lesson I learnt the hard way.

2. Water should not be drunk.
We in India use water for almost say 70% of our bodily activities. But the Americans use either coke or some other soft drinks for filling up the 70% water occupies in a human body in India. I seldom see people (Americans) drink water. Even when they drink water (the intake of which may be counted on your fingers) they take it with a lot of ice even in freezing winter.

3. Their switches go up to turn on the light
Another silly but easy to miss adaptation point. They push the switched up to turn them on and down to turn them off. A logic which quite well goes with the common notion of up being positive and down being negative. I remember in my ancestral home some of the old switches still go up to turn on whereas the latest version of switched come down to turn on. I believe we reversed our rationales and packed them together with the British when the left for the isles. Believe me not this was the hardest thing for me to master (not to say that I finally mastered this thing).

4. What is a mug and bucket?
A mug and a bucket are the sure shot ingredients of an Indian toilet (if there is one). We use the bucket to collect water and mugs to slam that water through the ass holes to cleanse the body after the wastes are passed out. But since the Americans have an aversion to water when it comes to body it should be quite obvious that they do our task better with paper. This was one of the first oddities I adapted to. But when I look back now I wonder how the hell I was able to do that?

5. Early to bed and early to rise, I thought it to be purely Indian.
Early Indian texts supposedly speak about rising early and after the bath saying prayers in the Brahma muhoortha which is said to be best time for the learners. Well not anymore westernization took that away; by away I mean they now own that concept. When all the Indian it companies it is an unwritten policy to come late and leave late. But not so in the America where people come early and leave early. I was truly awed when I heard that some guys come at 6 in the morning. I hardly wake up at 8am.

6. Policemen are too polite coz...
Almost all the Indians who had ever met the Indian police will agree on this fact. American policemen are very polite; they address you using 'sir', 'madam' and talk very softly and calmly and all that stuff. Well I too feel the same although I never had a chance to hear them speak to me. But to go by the idea that the films normally depict the culture in the country in which it is made it too agree with this point. But as in one film Robert de Nero remarks, most people respect the badge but everybody respects the gun, have you noticed that the nice speaking police man always has one of his hands on the trigger ready to shoot you if you make the slightest mistake. By shooting I mean shoot to kill not to hurt you or to maim, but to kill. So this politeness can be treated as the politeness extended to an animal of meat before it is culled. I prefer the harsh talking police men of India who hardly shoots anyone than the awkwardly polite western police.

7. Elections, silence as if in a funeral house.
This was the eve of an American presidential election which was turning all tables of precedence to elect a black man to the most prestigious office in the world. Compare the elections there in the US and in India. Here it is like a festival. We have a habit of turning everything to a festival and democracy is the most widely celebrated festival in India. All the people and netas on the road, posters, banners, flex boards, announcements, public meetings and stuff make it noticeable all around the place. But the American election is too calm and quiet to even notice it. Meetings and announcements are conducted in a concealed manner. May be they are fed up of democracy or I wonder if it is a democracy at all.

8. Courtesy and patience.
I believe this is one thing all Indians can emulate. At least patience, here everyone is such a hurry that they hardly think about themselves. May be its struggle for survival that makes Indians go crazy, hazy. Although we are never courteous a good deed done will always be rewarded and not just considered over with thanks.

9. Cars, more important than legs.
I think the number of cars outrun the number of people in this nation. The home to the biggest car market, there are on an average 2 cars per home. Cars are like your seconds pair of legs. And without a car, if you are not in New York you are pretty much an imbecile. This is a lesson I learnt the hard way as I was confined to my hotel and office and missing the most of the life in American. If I ever go there one more time, even if for a week, I will definitely get a car.

10. Ads means insurance, medicines and phone companies
When most of the ads in Indian television are soaps, foods, washing powders and targeting kids and youth the ads in American TV are all about insurance and medicines. As a cherry to pudding there are some mobile service provider's ads too. May be these shows the Americans dependence on medicines and insurance? They live the worst kind of nutritional diet and for all your diseases they run to the doctors and the pharmacy companies have carved such a niche for themselves with this medicine obsessed population who has a heavy dependence on health care which only insurance companies can provide.

After all I feel that if Indian is little more clean and disciplined I would love to stay in this country for ever more.

don't lEavE homE

it seems like Murphy's law and air travel go hand in hand. If you don't think so, well it surely does go hand in hand in my case. i am a staunch believer of Murphy's law and it is for real good reasons. here is one.

it was my day of return from the American dream. i was on my way back to the land of the normal and abnormal, land of shattered dreams, India. for the first time since long, it snowed (practically ice but I'm taking some artistic liberty) in Dallas and i managed to reach airport just in time. i got the boarding passes but not after i shelled out 50 bucks (DOLLARS not rupee) for the over weight luggage. at the airport security check, i don't know why (may be because i am a young man in the right age to blow up things or may be i was brown) i was taken through some intensive security checks, no complaints as it ensures some false security in our palpable minds.

at the new york JFK airport i had a 5 hour wait and finally when the boarding time dawned, emirates showed the true Asian spirit. they came around 2 hours late after all the defrosting the plane and length check in process to board the mega airbus a-380. needless to say, for the first time i saw snow (no artistic liberties here) in my life. to blow down the joy of seeing snow and having wonderful food and movies on board the behemoth, the flight landed in Dubai 2 hours late and the painfully long time to get out of the 380, oh man Murphy was laughing at me saying I told you so...

i ran breathing my lungs out through the Dubai emirates terminal number 3 and when i finally reached the gate, it was closed (no surprises here). then i contacted the transfer desk and they were able to find a flight leaving to Bangalore 5 hours later. thank God, at least i have a flight. i waited endlessly and sleepily until the hour struck and was soon on my way back to the garden city (cliche accepted).

tExas sizEd

There is a saying in Malayalam which I can roughly translate like this; when you are in the land of people who eat snakes, eat the centre piece itself. I would rather say this is the mallu ideology that has kept them going to all corners of the world and help them survive and thrive in entirely different cultures. to further nail down this point I will say that if you look into any overseas mallu community you will find that they are the ethnic group that have merged the most into the mainstream culture more than any other immigrant cultures. These mallus have embraced the alien culture as their own and by the time their second generation is mature, apart from the skin color, you don’t have anything to distinguish them from the mainstream populace. I have that mallu blood in me and that kept me going without any hassles in this land of Texas, us of a where I find many of my non-mallu Indian friends struggling with food, culture and anything conceivable American.

I should'nt have told all these for a silly matter as writing a blog about Texas. Well that’s the truth (about me and mallus), I always add extra to whatever I do.

Texas is the largest state in the American mainland (Alaska is the largest among all the states in US). By large I mean LARGE. Everything in Texas is huge. From the state, stores, population, roads, cars, trucks, people and even kids. There are vast stretches of open roads connecting big cities. People drive big trucks which consume big oil and eat foods which make them big fat. Texas is like a cruel joke played by the gods to make a state full of obese people. I will explain my conclusion. The state is too big for its already big population (unlike India). Stores are so huge so that you can measure their floor area in acres. And they live faraway from one another lest their big appetite may eat their neighbors. Residential areas are far away from all these commercial areas. So walking from one store to another and to home is impractical and unthinkable. So people move around in their cars. Besides according to American standards the food is cheaper and you get more food per penny. So naturally people eat a lot. No work and all eating make a Texan a fat boy. Thus Texas has one of the largest concentrations of obese people on the planet. No wonder...

In order to take on the vast stretches of roads and for outback riding trucks are the best here and in this land of plenty gasoline is the last concern and voila they have huge gas guzzling trucks and SUVs. After all these driving around and lazy life the only real work that they have is fornication and voila, u has the second largest state by population in US of A.

No wonder, they call something of enormous proportions, Texas sized...

My first Overseas Trip

This must be the peak of procrastination; my first overseas trip and I took this long to write this down... Come on man, put yourself together, kill this procrastination thing. That's the message I got before putting my a^%$ on the table to add another feather to the list of posts.

Well this could be the perfect example of how far your first trip outside the country can be screwed up and this could be a study case of almost all problems that you can encounter on your journey.

My idea of getting out of the boring and monotonous work life in Bangalore was to go on a random trip on a weekend with all the planning (I don't like to do that, and I aint saying I plan but the only plan will be to find a seat in a bus or train) done on Wednesday. That is how I get out of the monotonous life and find some adventure. But this one trip really scared the living daylights out of me. This is nothing like the previous trips that I had taken. This is to America, most powerful nation, land of opportunity, American dream and stuff like that. I was asked to come over to the US for a few weeks and man, it was super fast. I was told about this on Wednesday and in a jiffy, I was flying on Sunday.

I was flying to Dubai, then to Houston and finally to Dallas. My first flight was at 4.30 am from Bangalore. I was there much early, Saturday 11.30pm itself, of course I was nervous. and I had good reason to be.
After waiting for a long time, finally the check in process started and when my turn came in, the first boulder on the way (or shall I say, disturbance), my flight from Dubai to Houston was CANCELED. What?, well hurricane Ike had left a bad devastation on Houston and Galveston and Emirates was not flying there. Well WHAT? I dint hear a thing. I went blank for a few minutes. My first overseas trip and this was screwed up at the first place itself. I collected myself when the Emirates officials was frantically (or should i say routinely) searching for alternate travel arrangements. I waited and waited and finally when the last passenger was checked in and we they were about to board the flight, one of the officials came to me with alternate travel arrangements. Well I was flying on Sunday itself. But it will be Sunday evening. This time I will be flying Emirates to Dubai, then to New York and Dallas.

I returned back to my home, caught the sleep I badly missed and got back to the airport on time so that I get this plane on time. This time it was piece of cake. But as a matter of fact I was still nervous with all those flights ahead of me. This time every process went well and in short time I was sitting on the Emirates flight to Dubai. After 3 hours of flight I landed in Dubai. The aerial view of Dubai was beautiful, the entire coastline was all lit up and the airport was huge. we were taken to the transit terminal with over 150 gates (when Bangalore has only 10-20 gates you can understand how huge is Dubai). I had a transit time of 5 hours in Dubai. Most of that time was spent walking the entire length of the huge transit terminal. And there was the famed duty free stores. The flamboyance was breath taking. and finally when it was the check in time and wen i reached the officials, then there it was, for the second time i am having some problems. well this time it was solved by the emirates officials., thanks a lot to them.no wonder they are on of the best (even though they give me some tough time).

The flight from Dubai to New York was really enjoyable. The flight was almost empty (or should i say one third occupied). The air hostesses were very nice and the service was superb. I got to watch a lot of movies and the food was also superb. The plane was so empty that i used the 4 seats in my row to have a good sleep stretching myself a little. When i pulled up the window shades I was flying over Boston and then new york. And after this long trip finally i landed on American soil. after the immigration check, i collected my luggage and went on to proceed to delta airlines' terminal. this is another huge airport that has air trains to transport people from one terminal to another. I had to wait another 10 hours in JFK to catch my next flight to Dallas. it was only at 7pm. after the long wait or should i say boring (coz the airport is so empty, with very less people and attractions).

And finally when i went for the check in the final problem came up. the delta staff required some proof of my alternate arrangements. emirates made the alternate arrangements and the delta required some document for these. i was again caught up in another problem. if it was not for one of the delta official, i would have been really screwed up my trip. thanks a lot to that person who helped me a lot. i was able to get the reared doc from emirates and finally made it to Dallas on the delta airlines. I should say compared to emirates or even Indian carriers like king fisher or Deccan, the service was extremely poor. the air hostesses acted like the passengers were taken free for a ride on a delta courtesy. they didn't even gave a bottle of water. no complaints, coz i was to tired and went to sleep immediately after.

Finally after 2.5 hours of good sleep and flight i landed in Dallas fort worth. i collected my luggage and was on my way to hotel. the place was a little hard to find, but after spending $70, i managed to get to the hotel by 12.15am on Monday morning and no time spent went directly to sleep.

I don't remember whether i had any dreams or what, but to this day i was procrastinating or working at office to spent some serious time writing this blog. Ohhh, finally i finished it.

This must be the peak of procrastination; my first overseas trip and I took this long to write this down... Come on man, put yourself together, kill this procrastination thing. That's the message I got before putting my a^%$ on the table to add another feather to the list of posts.

Well this could be the perfect example of how far your first trip outside the country can be screwed up and this could be a study case of almost all problems that you can encounter on your journey.

My idea of getting out of the boring and monotonous work life in Bangalore was to go on a random trip on a weekend with all the planning (I don't like to do that, and I aint saying I plan but the only plan will be to find a seat in a bus or train) done on wednesady. That is how I get out of the monotnonous life and find some adventure. But this one trip really scared the living daylights out of me. This is nothing like the previous trips that I had taken. This is to America, most powerful nation, land of oppurtuniteis, ameriacan dream and stuff like that. I was asked to come over to the US for a few weeks and man, it was super fast. I was told about this on Wednesday and in a jiffy, I was flying on Sunday.

I was flying to Dubai, then to Houston and finally to Dallas. My first flight was at 4.30 am from Bangalore. I was there much early, saturday 11.30pm itself, ofcourse I was nervous. and I had good reason to be.
After waiting for a long time, finally the checkin process started and when my turn came in, the first boulder on the way (or shall I say, disturbance), my flight from dubai to houston was CANCELLED. What?, well hurricane Ike had left a bad devastation on Houston and Galveston and Emirates was not flying there. Well WHAT? I dint hear a thing. I went blank for a few minutes. My first overseas trip and this was screwed up at the first place itself. I collected myself when the Emirates officials was frantically (or should i say routinely) searching for alteranet travel arrangements. I waited and waited and finally when the last passenger was checked in and whe they were about to board the flight, one of the officailas came to me with alternate travel arrangements. Well I was flying on sunday itself. But it will be Sunday evening. This time I will be flying Emirates to Dubai, then to New York and Dallas.

I returned back to my home, caught the sleep I badly missed and got back to the airport on time so that I get this plane on time. This time it was peice of cake. But as a matter of fact I was still nervous with all those flights ahead of me. This time evry process went well and in short time I was sitting on the Emirates flight to Dubai. After 3 hours of flight I landed in Dubai. The aeriel view of Dubai was beautful, the entire coastline was all litup and the airport was huge. we were taken to the tansit terminal with over 150 gates (when bangalore has only 10-20 gates you can understand how huge is Dubai). I had a trasit time of 5 hours in Dubai. MOst of that time was spent walking the entire lebgth of the huge trasit terminal. And there was the famed duty free stores. The flamboyance was breath taking. and finally when it was the checkin time and wen i reached the officials, then there it was, for the second time i am having some problems. well this time it was solved by the emirates officials., thanks a lot to them.no wonder they are on of the best (eventhough they give me some tought ime).

The flight from Dubai to New York was really enjoyable. The flight was almost empty (or should i say one third occupied). The air hostrses were very nice and the service was superb. I got to watch a lot of movies and the food was also superb. The plane was so empty that i used the 4 seats in my row to have a good sleep stretching myselves a little. When i pulled up the window shades I was flying over boston and then new york. And after this long trip finally i landed on american soil. after the immigration check, i collected my luggage and went on to proceed to delta airlines' terminal. this is another huge aiprot that has airtrains to transport people from one terminal to another. I had to wait another 10 hours in jfk to catch my next flight to dallas. it was only at 7pm. after the long wait or should i say boring (coz the airport is so empty, with very less people and attractions).

And finally when i went for the checkin the final problem came up. the delta staff required some proof of my alternate arangements. emirates made the alternate arrangements and the delta required some document for these. i was again cought up in another problme. if it was not for one of the delta official, i would have been really screwed up my trip. thanks a lot to that person who helped me a lot. i was able to get the reuired doc from emirates and finally made it to dallas on the delta airlines. I should say compared to emirates or even indian carriers like king fisher or deccan, the serivce was extremel poor. the air hostesses acted like the passengers were taken free for a ride on a delta courtesy. they didnt even gave a bottle of water. no complaints, coz i was to tired and went to sleep immediately after.

Finally after 2.5 hours of good sleep and flight i landed in dallas fortworth. i collected my luggages and was on my way to hotel. the place was a little hard to find, but after spending $70, i managed to get to the hotel by 12.15am on monday morning and no time spent went directly to sleep.

I don't remember whether i had any dreams or what, but to this day i was procastinating or working at office to spent some serious time writing this blog. Ohhh, finally i finished it.

Hampi (Last part!!!)

Whoa, I read my last post. It was too much man. Even me myself got sick of it. It was all long and boring...I have decided to make my posts very short. Writing essays is not my idea of great literature. I have always inclined to making my points clear in as short words as possible. In fact I can write a few hundred pages on how to convey your ideas in a few words...

As a result of the decision I have taken, I plan to tell the story of Hampi in as short sentences and limited words as possible.

OK, here it is...

Hampi is a very good place to visit during any time of the year (only if you are an Indian, because mark my words, I visited the place in April, the Indian summer and it was not that hot as anticipated). Another big thing is if you wanna see beaches, lush green forests and fauna, stay in a luxury hotel, play in the snow, blow money or wanna get drunk this is not the place. Also you need to be oriented historically ( I mean , interest in history) to understand and enjoy this place.

We (me and my friend Ajay) stayed at Hampi for 1 1/2 days and thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. The first day we took a tour guide (an auto rickshaw driver, the decision we regretted later) and visited the places far away (>1Km) in his auto rickshaw. Sunday morning we visited the places of attraction closer to Hampi.

By 12pm, we bid adieu to Hampi and set off for Hospet (the nearest town, railway station etc). Since my friends train was at 3pm and we had plenty of time to kill, we visited the Tunga Bhadra dam, a few kilometers (~5km) from Hospet. We stayed there for (say) 2hours. In fact photography is prohibited there. So not much photos of the place. We met a few local workers and had a little chat in all the Kannada we learned during the 1.5 year stay in Bangalore. There we were drenched by the sudden drizzle which turned out to be a heavy rain.

We got back to Hospet and I saw my friend off to his journey further (to Andhra Pradehs). Since my train to Bangalore was scheduled at 8.30 pm, I took a nap in the guest room. Finally my time to say farewell to Hospet came and I huddled into my swecond class sleeper silently, as I contemplated a warm send off my Krisha deva raya and Tenali Rama... (just to be a little poetic).

Hampi - Where Vijayanara sleeps in ruins...(Day 1 Part I)

Ah, alas; it was a trip to Hampi where the ruins of the medieval kingdom of Vijayanagara lies in ruins .Why is it that I feel sad, is it because of seeing the wonderful kingdom of Vijayanagara now wearing a deserted look. No dummy, it is because it is probably my last picnic trip with my beloved friend and room mate, the one and only Ajay Joy. Is he gonna die??? Of course not, he has left me and the wonderful house and friends of, the Asha Nilaya our Bangalore abode for pursuing an IAS (yeah, the Indian Civil Services). I'm not unhappy at that thinking about the great benefits from an IAS friend. Of course all my support and goodwill go to him (and the rental advance he paid stays with me, ha ha ha).
It was as a sent-off tour he planned for a pilgrimage to the untapped wealth of the Southern states of India and to understand the greatness in them. So me being his room mate and friend, decided to jump in and pack my bag to Hampi, the first of his pilgrimage location. I being an employed young man couldn't get enough time to taunt him for the rest of his journey.
So we booked two tickets for the Hampi express (departing Bangalore Central at 10.30 pm and arriving at Hospet on 7.00am). Hospet?, yeah thats right. Indian railways does not run services directly to Hampi, Hospet is the nearest railway station. The train journey was as uneventful as any and we reached Hospet around 8.00am. As soon as we got out of the train, we were taken in by surprise by a fast Hindi (we both don't speak that good Hindi, in fact me none) speaking auto rickshaw guy. We were taken in by his marketing skills and lo, we agreed to a Rs.850 paid, full day tour of Hampi and its ruins (including the auto fare to Hampi). That was the biggest mistake in our entire trip. The best way to see around Hampi, is by motor bike or on bicycles (if you have enough time). Hampi is not that a big city, just a small village whose entire length and breadth won't be more than 1km. The auto rickshaw driver turned out to be a very good guide, well versed in all the nuances of the ruins in and around Hampi (he ought to be, after all thats his livelihood). There were quite a few places on the way to Hampi (from Hospet, better get one of the many state run KSRTC bus to Hampi) which commanded attention like the water supply well and the tombs of Muslim invaders.

Hampi is around 14km from Hospet and we reached there within 1hour (counting the time spent at the above said locations). First thing, accommodation. There are a lot of make-shift hotels and small lodging places dotted in and around Hampi. If you are well versed in Kannada or at least Hindi and have got a little bargaining capacity go for it and a room will come for as low as Rs.200. We got the room for Rs.400 (i.e, we are very poor bargainers). It was not that great room, but there we had an incessant supply of water and the beds were provided with mosquito nets and the windows were covered with mosquito nets. After a shower and refreshments we started the tour. Speaking on refreshments, no alcoholic drinks are served in Hampi. The nearest place to get them is 4 km away at a KTDC run hotel (i forgot the place name, how can I).

As the first section of the tour started, we visited the great Narasimha statue and the adjacent giant Shiva linga near by. The statue had a Lakshmi in its lap which is missing now, so is the sealing for the statue. The place looks very similar to my home state Kerala with its banana plantations, paddy fields and brook. It is said that the brook is perennial and it flows around the giant linga. The linga is close to two meters in height from its base. Both the linga and the Narasimha statue (close to 4 meters in height) were made from monolithic rocks.

After this we went to a temple location which was actually dug up from the ground (yeah, it was eaten up by the earth). On the way there was a magnificent view where two huge rocks were kept in a slanting position on againt the other. IN fact the magnitude of these rocks cannot be perceived from this picture. You need to be there to understand this wonder. The dug up temple site is a wonderful location. Thanks to ASI, it is kept in a very good state with wonderful gardens and lawns. The only problem is that once it rains the temple location will be flooded. Even at that hot part of the season, there were 1 foot deep water puddles inside the temple. The stone works were marvelous. Some of the works on the stone seemed like those of Buddhist monks. We also found a nest of bats inside the least treaded paths in the temple.

From this place, we went to the site of Maharani's palace (there is nothing much left of it, only the basement) and the nearby elephant lair (don't worry, there are no live elephants, only memories). Needless to say, it was also very beautifully kept and it is one sight to watch. There are also two museums at that location, one of statues and other one of daily use items like pottery, jewelery and such. Already exhausted by the hot climate (if you are used to Bangalore's climate, it is not that hot either. but we were on empty stomachs) and the sun (we plan to sue the sunscreen manufacturer; of course if you wanna keep your skin color, use sun screen lotions liberally) we took a short snap. There we also met with a Chinese professional photographer (guessed by his attire and costly gears) and illusioned how he could be a Chinese spy...

How tired we were? Thinking about that I am tired even now. Thats why I'm skipping some of the less important places that we went to. Let me wound up the first part here. The second leg of the remainder of our journey will come in the next post. Till then good bye...